What's wrong pussy cat?

So there I was on a Thursday night, curled up on the comfy brown leather couch at my lovely hovel - a house bereft of laboriously lazy lepers(aka flatmates) - when a small black and white cat came silently padding into the room and started talking to me.

No, it wasn't an acid flashback; when I say "talking", I mean the cat started making noises at me. In cat language. mostly meows and all that sort of stuff, which absolutely makes no sense to us humans, but probably is some form of complex and superior language. I imagined the cat striding into the room, saw me relaxing on the couch and said, "Ah, puny human. I am Zanthor, your new ruler and feline master. I will jump on the couch and demand attention, and your role as a pathetic human being is lavish said attention upon me. I would like some food or perhaps some patting - I haven't quite made my mind up yet about it, pathetic human."

At which point the small black-and-white cat  jumped on the couch and immediately began pushing its head up against my hand, purring, and dong all those other sort of catty things, like sinking its ludicrously-sharp claws into my leg. And silly little I, being a pathetic human who happens to like animals of all sorts(except Chihuahuas - what the friggin' hell is going on there, people?), started patting the cuddly little cat, disregarding the fact that ten little needles of pain were shooting up my thigh.

I can't help it. If a completely strange cat came waltzing into the room, most sane people would probably do that human-trying-to-scare-the-cat-away thing - you know, where they stretch out their arms really wide and walk towards the cat whilst opening their mouth wide and either hissing or yelling "go! GO!" at the poor cat. I don't know why people feel the need to try to scare away a cat by acting like an even bigger cat - why don't you just pick the pussy up and toss it out in the window?

I however, have a little history with "adopted pets" and cats in general. It all started back - cue shimmering dissolve and harp stroking music - in 2003 when I was living together with my brother. It was a hot summer night, and I was slaving on some university project on my computer when a gray Siamese cat jumped in through the windows, smack bang onto the keyboard.

And then the cat, whose name (according to his name tag) was "Rastas" (?) started meowing at me. And didn't bloody well stop for the next three months.

Rastas was a cool cat though - he'd hop around every evening at a certain time, ask for a pat and a bit of milk, would then meander off into the night. He was the ultimate in low-maintenance pets, although he wasn't on the brightest side. When the weather started cooling down, my bedroom windows would be shut at night. Every now and then, at 2 am in the morning. I'd hear a "doonk", followed closely by a second(or sometimes third) "doonk" a dew seconds afterwards. poor Rastas had made a habit of through my bedroom windows, and subsequently jumped right into the the glass more than a few times.

All that brain impact must've eventually scared him or something, as he disappeared a few months later. It was a sad time, but a week later another cat started paying regular visits to us at nighttime. This orange-and-white tabby had no name tag on it so we gave it the nickname "Silent Bob" - because it never made a sound. Not one meow.

So when the black-and-white cat came into the lounge-room a few nights ago, I thought "Yay! I have a new adopted pet!" and immediately ran into the kitchen to pour a little bowl of milk. I wanted to convince our new adopted pet that he/she was welcome here anytime, and that if it came strolling into our house, it'd get rewarded with some wine, women or song. Or perhaps just milk.

One of my flatmates, Missy,  came home half an hour later whilst the cat was padding around the living room sniffing the TV and clawing the rug. Upon seeing the cat, she immediately dropped her bags, stretched her arms out wide and started hissing at the cat, yelling "go! GO!"

I assume she doesn't approve of the adopted pet. Major bummer, dude.

Comments

[SparklesMpls]

I'm allergic to cats but can't resist them - they're just too damned cute. Good story, but is the cat pictured your new pet? Good lord - he looked to be either really hungry, or perhaps passed out drunk in a bowl of cereal!

[Stairs]

I realise that you're probably friends and all, but you *have* to get rid of Missy :-/